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EastEnders – “Harry Mitchell Teaches Kojo Asare About Dating”
(700-word scene – light-hearted, banter-filled, classic Walford mix of charm and chaos)
INT. THE QUEEN VIC – EARLY EVENING
The pub’s atmosphere is lively, with locals chatting over pints. HARRY MITCHELL, late teens with slicked-back hair and misplaced confidence, leans across a table toward KOJO ASARE, equally young but way more awkward.
HARRY (smirking):
Right, first rule of dating — confidence. You walk in like you own the place. Shoulders back, chin up. Bit like me.
KOJO (laughs nervously):
You mean… like when you tripped over the jukebox last week?
HARRY (defensive):
That was tactical, bruv. Made ‘em laugh. Broke the ice.
KOJO:
Nah, it broke your pride, mate.
HARRY:
Oi, don’t knock it. I still got a number that night.
KOJO (deadpan):
From the barmaid. Who was already your cousin.
HARRY (pause):
Semantics.
KOJO (grinning):
Okay, teach me, Casanova. What do I say? Like, proper chat-up lines?
Harry leans in, full of swagger.
HARRY:
First, compliment — but don’t go full cheese. No “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” rubbish. Keep it casual. Try something like, “That smile’s dangerous. You got a license for it?”
KOJO (snorts):
Bro, I’d get slapped.
HARRY:
Only if you say it like that. You gotta deliver it. Bit of charm, bit of mystery.
KOJO:
You sound like a rom-com villain.
HARRY:
Nah mate, I’m the main character. You? You’re still in the trailers.
They both laugh. Behind them, FREDDIE SLATER passes by with a tray of drinks.
FREDDIE:
If Harry’s teaching you about dating, Kojo… run. Fast.
HARRY:
Jealousy ain’t a good look, Fred.
Freddie rolls his eyes and moves on. Kojo sips his drink, more serious now.
KOJO:
Thing is… I like someone. Like, properly like. And I freeze every time she talks to me. Brain just goes blank. What if she laughs?
HARRY (shrugs):
Then laugh with her. Own it. You’re allowed to be awkward — just don’t be silent. Silence is the killer, mate.
KOJO:
She’s smart, though. Proper clever. Talks politics, reads weird poetry. I’m just… me.
HARRY:
That’s exactly who she wants. Look, girls don’t want clones or textbook lines. Be honest. Tell her you like the way she thinks. Say her brain’s sexy.
KOJO (wide-eyed):
Her brain is sexy?
HARRY (grins):
Only if you say it right. Don’t go sniffing books or anything. Keep it smooth.
KOJO:
Right… brain is sexy. Smooth. Got it.
HARRY:
And smile, yeah? You’ve got a decent one. Bit too “lost puppy” sometimes, but it’s charming.
KOJO:
Cheers… I think?
Harry pats him on the back, proud of his “student.”
HARRY:
Tell you what. She comes in here, I’ll distract her mate, and you shoot your shot. Sound fair?
KOJO:
Depends. Is her mate fit?
HARRY (grins):
Now you’re learning.
SFX: DOOR OPENS – A GROUP OF GIRLS ENTER, LAUGHING
Kojo stiffens. One of the girls — LAILA, the one he likes — waves over at him. He waves back, then immediately turns to Harry in panic.
KOJO:
She’s here. She’s actually here. What do I do?!
HARRY (standing):
Go say hi. Keep it light. Ask her what she’s drinking. Then — and this is key — listen. Don’t just nod, like when my mum talks about recycling.
KOJO (deep breath):
Okay… okay. Wish me luck.
HARRY (grinning):
You don’t need luck, bruv. You’ve got me.
Kojo walks nervously toward Laila. Harry watches like a proud coach on match day.
Laila smiles wide as Kojo reaches her. They start talking. Kojo fumbles his words a bit but laughs it off. She giggles — genuinely.
Harry fist-pumps quietly.
FREDDIE (walking past again):
What’s this? Mitchell Dating Academy?
HARRY (smirking):
Nah. Just saving the youth, one date at a time.
FADE OUT with Harry sipping his drink, satisfied, as Kojo and Laila chat in the background — a successful first step in the world of Walford romance.
Let me know if you want a part two where Kojo takes Harry’s advice too literally, or things go hilariously wrong on a double date!